Worldwide Online Meeting with John Sherman - March 1, 2008

As always, I am happy to see you here, or to see your names here, in any event. I am going to begin with reading a couple of emails that I have received in recent times, and responding to them here.

You know, it is a kind of spiritual cliché to say that there is only one question. This cliché started out as an articulation of a momentary insight that was clear, startling, and useful to people. However, my sense of it is that there are many questions. There are infinite questions, but there is really only one answer, which is not to say that, for the one who is harboring a burning question about reality or the relationship to it, or what can be done to realize freedom, a particular question is not unique and individual to the person who is asking it. It is not to say that it is the same question; it is not the same question. But it is going to be the same answer. So, I would like to be able to answer as many of the questions I receive as possible, over time, in a public forum, so that perhaps when you hear the questions here, they will resonate with your own belief that you are confused and something will be seen by you. So, enough of that. Onward and upward! Allons-y!

Hi, John, just a quick question. How mandatory is a sentient diet for self-inquiry? Ramana speaks of it as the most beneficial aid.

I am not sure what you mean by a "sentient diet." I think Ramana spoke of a vegetarian diet. I am not a hundred per cent sure, but I remember having read that, and wondering what in the world he could be possibly be talking about. Actually, to call it a "sentient diet" might be closer to the truth, because it is my own experience that the one state of mind, the one characteristic of mind that may be helpful in the inquiry is a kind of continuous mindfulness, which certainly includes mindfulness as to what you are taking into your body. It is not mindfulness in the sense of analyzing and determining whether it is beneficial to your spiritual life or not beneficial to your spiritual life, but mindfulness in just being aware of how you feel, of what your body feels like. That mindfulness serves you always and, as far as I know, it is the only characteristic of mind that is beneficial and helpful. Of course, I could be making that up, too. For me, for this body, for this experience here, I have found, for example, that I feel better when I do not eat mammals. But that is just me. The mindfulness is the thing, just that. Mindfulness says it all; it takes care of all that in the end. Okay? Here is an email that seems to have a different tone to it:

Dear John,  I came to see you on Sunday and I heard you saying to a couple of people who had recently had some awakening experiences, "We have been working together for long time. How long? Since November?" Indeed, four months had already passed. Well, I have been working with you since 2002 or 2003. I stopped asking questions in meetings in 2006. I did have the "essential experience," as Gangaji puts it, somewhere in there. But since then, it feels like I am stuck. I hate the people I am with half the time, I am full of resentment, I judge myself and others, the works. Suffering, in other words. All I hear on the podcasts are people calling to report all the light they are seeing. WHAT IS TAKING ME SO LONG? Maybe some of us have too much trauma to unhook from. Maybe inquiring what my beingness feels like will work just before death. Anyway, most of the time I am too stuck to inquire. I cannot feel anything, except the usual thoughts and suffering. I ask, because you guaranteed that the sun will rise, so to speak. I do not want to wait until just before death for that. Can I have the alternative plan, if there is one? Does the guarantee have exceptions?

The guarantee has no exceptions. Truth has no exceptions. Truth has nothing excluded. That is you, the truth. I am going to read the next couple of letters and then respond to all of them at the same time. The next one is this:

John, I find that I am at the end of my rope. I have tried everything for the past six years, to finally be done with this suffering and live this awareness we naturally are. I'm always aware of this silence but the "me" is also very much here. I see the silence and gaze into it, but there has been a growing terror and panic that has come to the surface, and for the past two years, I have been plagued by it. My heart speeds up, my arms tingle, and I am afraid I am going to hurt my body through experiencing all this stress. I try looking into it, and experiencing the fear, and maybe find a bit of short-lived relief. I look at myself as you suggest, but the fear continues. This has been going on for a long time and I wonder how much longer my body will hang in there. Another teacher has told me that there is nothing that can be done at this stage in the game. When the identification with the "me" is ready to dissolve, it will do it in its own time. It is so hard for me to know what is needed, and doubt arises when I see myself suffering more and more. You said, over and over again, to simply look at myself. It seems so easy at times, but I have been finding lately that my life has been getting smaller and smaller, as this terror arises almost everywhere. I refuse to let this stop me from living my life fully. Will it pass on its own, John? Can you please give me any thoughts about this when you get a chance?

And one more email:

I have a question. I constantly return to a very deep sense of peace. It is there, hiding under all my actions in this life. My life and circumstances seem to take my attention from it, but when I stop and look, there it is. Is this what you are pointing to? Is this me? It feels as if this peace comes and goes and, as such, it would not be me. But something is telling me it never goes, I just lose sight of it, I ignore it in order to take part in this world-dream-fantasy.

The first two letters are shot through with agony and confusion and so forth. As I said, it is not the case that everybody's experience is the same. Is not the case that the experience of suffering, even between these two people, is the same. These questions, these doubts, and "Why is taking me so long? Do I have too much trauma? Do I have to wait for death?" on the first one, and then on the other one, the panic, the terror, the bodily sensation of fear, the consistent presence of fear, present two very different reports. They reflect two very different experiences of the agony, terror, and suffering of believing oneself to be trapped in these lives, in these bodies and minds.

But the answer is the same. The answer is always the same. The only thing that can help, the only thing that works, is to consistently, over as long a period as it takes (whether that be a day and a half, or a year and a half, or fifteen years), to consistently and repeatedly move your conscious attention, looking for the certainty of being that you are. Because that is what you are, you are the certainty of being. Now, there is nothing concrete, nothing tangible about this certainty of being. That the certainty of being is here, it is self-evidently true. And it is also self-evidently true that it is you. But, even that, the fact that it is your own identity, your own home, your own heart, is an unnecessary interpretation. All that is required is that you look there, and all that is required for you to be able to look there is that you try with all your heart to look there. It cannot fail.

Many of these reports that come to me, reports of having lost the experience, of feeling stuck, of hating people, resenting everything, of terror, I am familiar with in my own life, in my own journey. What I would like is to be able to speak to you, to the one who is feeling just fine, and the one who is suffering, in doubt and confusion, the one who is lost in terror and fear. I would like to be able to find some way to take your hand, or to take your eye, and show you directly what it is that I want you to look at. Because the only misunderstanding comes from my inability to tell you what it is that I want you to look at. And that has been the case, I have to say in my own defense, for everyone who has tried this in all of human history.

That is the problem of the relationship between you and me, wherever you are, wherever this sense of a conviction that you are trapped in this life is located. All I want to do is to make you look, to show you directly, without any possibility of misunderstanding, as I said, and take you by the hand and put your hand on it, or direct your eyes to this that I want you to look at. Because the only answer to all of these questions is precisely to look at that light. And through no credit to me, in the time that we have been doing this work together, despite my inability, my ineffectiveness at showing you what I want you to look at, many of us have happened upon it, and reported that it is just as we have said.

Always, you are here. Always, you are aware of yourself. Always, you are seeing yourself. Never is there a moment when you are deluded by this belief that you are trapped in this life. The only thing that produces that suffering is the continuation of that belief, and the movement of mind in alignment with that belief. Because all of our suffering, our aggression, our hatred, and our selfishness are entirely rational and reasonable, if it is true that we are trapped and that we are at stake in these lives. So, the only answer is to find a way to bring into these minds the light of reality that destroys all belief about what you are and what you are not. It destroys all ground and basis for aggression, hostility, and hatred, along with the belief itself.

So, I keep trying. I keep trying to find a better way or a new way, because we get used to the old way, like the idea that there is only one question. At one time, that was an illuminating insight that really showed something to people. But we have been saying it for so many thousands of years that it has become canonical and liturgical only. Much closer to the truth is the statement that there is only one answer, and the answer is to bring that light into your mind, by looking at it.

Now, since I am obviously not as good as I would like to be at showing you what it is that I want you to look at, that means that you have to use your own, inherent, native intelligence and common sense to see that I am really telling you to look at yourself. It is the feeling of being present, the presence itself, the spaciousness that you are. Then, try to get through those words somehow, because it's really true that all that is required is that the light be let in. And that guarantee has no exception. And it is really true that in the course of enacting this inquiry, it seems that it's really hard to do it, since you start from a life time of being totally immersed in the conviction that you are trapped in this life. But you can find it. You can see yourself. The only thing that stands in the way is the fact that you are always seeing yourself. It is nothing new. There is nothing new to be found here.

Now I am going to read one more email to illustrate what it is I am saying. Well, let me read the email, and then I will talk about it.

Hello John, it has been a long time since I have written to you. The psychosomatic pain that I think comes from my very early preconscious stuff and animal distress, more than a human experience, has pretty much possessed me, as I have of course continued and even intensified the practice. However, things are sweeter now, and confidence increases. What triggers this communication now is that I was very thrilled to hear you in the last worldwide meeting speak of space and spaciousness. This was most synchronistic for me. You see, I have been plagued by you always saying, "See yourself." I think, because of my rather unusual initiation into life, I never developed the normal sense of self that most people have. In this, I may well have been close to autistic, or perhaps what is called borderline, meaning, I think, crazy, but able to pass as a normal neurotic. So, a few weeks ago I decided that I would direct myself mentally to the practice by simply being aware of space. The space around my body, or in my mind, simply space. The practice is, of course, just the same, but this stopped me from just hassling in my mind about "What the hell does he mean with look at yourself?" I don't have one! Am I maybe excluded from this way, just screwed, etc, etc? So hearing you talk about space seemed to remove some sense of separation. And when I discovered I could go directly to what you instruct by the thought or the sense of space, I quickly wrote a short writing about space to confirm in my mind this intuition and to share it with anyone it might possibly be of use to, so I'm attaching it for you. There is no way I can express the depth and vastness of my gratitude to you, and to how you reach me and so many others, but I am sure you know.

I didn't print the writing, I haven't had time, but I probably will put it on the website, if you want to go and see it. This thing about space and spaciousness, I did talk about it last time, and I want to talk about it again right now. If you see what I am trying to do, then you can help me. That is my purpose in telling you what I am trying to do, and how I am trying to do it.

The reason I spoke about space last week was because it had been present with me for some time, the power, and the sweetness of a Buddhist meditation practice on space, and how much this space that is part of this Buddhist meditation practice is a metaphor for what I am trying to get you to look at. This is because of my own experience. In the depths of my suffering and confusion, during the two years of my spiritual journey, I found that some of the things that I learned from the Buddhists were quite helpful to me. Not so much in the moment, but in retrospect, they were quite helpful to me. One is the mindfulness meditation that I speak of from time to time. There is no direct correlation, or even a direct metaphorical correlation, between mindfulness meditation and self-inquiry, but it is quite useful, like sentient eating. It is quite useful to be mindful, to see that you are aware of everything at all times. Basically, that is what mindfulness is.

I say that I learned these are practices from the Buddhists, but I have to say, I never had at any time on this journey the direct, overt guidance by a teacher in anything whatsoever, including these Buddhist meditation practices. All that I have done, in the entire time on this journey, was to use what little native intelligence is present here, and what small amount of common sense is present here, to try to figure out what I was supposed to be doing.

When I happened upon Ramana, I saw his insight very clearly, but I could not for the life of me articulate it, even to myself. And being unable to articulate it even to myself, I found it very difficult to figure out what it was that I was supposed to be doing. So, through the application of what little intelligence and common sense were present here at that time and using what tools I had, which were little dibs and dabs of the Buddhist meditation practices and a whole lot of spiritual reading, I took it upon myself, as my purpose, to see what in the world Ramana was talking about. Because he could not say it any better than I can, and he was saying it to people a long time ago, in a whole different cultural circumstance.

But I could see the insight that the cause of all the trouble is this false conviction that I am trapped in this life. So, one of the meditation practices that I found quite useful was meditating on space, on spaciousness, which I say is Buddhist, but it is just me, and my tinkering with what little I understood from reading about the Buddhist practices.

As we sit here, as you sit wherever you are, in front of the computer, or whatever you are doing, it is possible, even as you read this, to become aware of the space which everything occupies. Not the distance between things, not the separation of things from each other, but the space that contains everything. The same space that contains the distance between you and your computer, and the air that fills that distance, contains the hard metal and plastic components of your computer. It is the same space that contains this body. This body is not the space that the body fills. It is possible, at any time, to just relax and see the awareness of space, of spaciousness. That spaciousness itself is a phenomenon that appears within you, in a way that is similar to the way your body appears within space. That spaciousness is a metaphor for the essential quality that you are looking for, when you are looking for this that never leaves, this that never moves, or changes.

It doesn't matter what you think you are doing, if you can bring your attention to the space, the presence, the unmoving reality. That is the light. And without changing your mind about anything at all in the universe, about the nature of things, about the nature of reality, about heaven and hell, without even fixing or correcting your personality, the repeated contact with that reality destroys the conviction that you are trapped in this life, in this body, in this mind. Because that is the only problem there is, and that is the only answer, no matter what the question is.

Now I would like to speak with anybody who wants to speak with me here. But, instead of speaking to each other about our gratitude, let's speak about our difficulties. Your gratitude is self-evident. It is the gratitude and the generosity of everybody who has been touched by this offer that makes the continued presentation of this offer possible. Carla and I live in your gratitude and your generosity. So, if you don't ask to speak to me, I'm going to assume that you are filled with gratitude, like I am. But, unless nobody has any problems, questions, or confusions whatsoever, it might be better if we didn't talk about how grateful we are and instead, we left this time to anybody who is confused or unhappy. Okay? So, take your time, I am going to sit here and be quiet, waiting for you. I am happy to be with you.

Hi, John. I would like to ask you a question. I feel quite imprisoned in this life. I am doing the investigation, and I see the truth sometimes, but I don't feel the bliss that I had before, in my meditations. And I always have these expectations that I'll be happy, that I'll get  something from this investigation, and I just feel more and more depressed and desperate,  as long as I continue this investigation. I feel trapped in this body. What do you suggest i do with all these bad feelings?

First of all, the bliss obviously came and went. Now it has been replaced with desperation, misery and suffering. These also have appeared, and you must know they will disappear. The fact that it will disappear, of course, is a thin compensation for the experience itself, which is intense and seems to be ever-present. While the pain and the misery are happening, while the bliss was happening, in all these cases, right now, as I speak to you, and as whatever internal emotional movements are present in your body and in your mind, the sense of feeling trapped in the life, you know that the experience itself is not what you call it, right?

We learn that, in certain circumstances, this energetic quality is desperation and helplessness, and fearfulness and so forth. But, in fact, that is just our narrative interpretation of the ebb and flow of energetic activity within the life. It is quite possible to philosophically understand that what I said is true, and it will in no way make the desire to be rid of this horrible misery less intense. But there is nothing you can do about it. If there was something you could do about it, you would have done it by now. If there was something that any of us in these lives of travail could do about the travails of our lives, we would have done so. God knows, we have been trying, with all our hearts, to fix ourselves, to do something about the feeling of being trapped, to do something about the desperation and the helplessness of life, the futility of it, and so forth. So, if there was anything we could do to make those experiences go away, or even to make those stories about the experiences go away, by now we would have figured out how to do that. But we haven't.

The clue here is the intensity of the sense of being trapped in this life. The sense of being trapped in this life is not caused by anything. It is its own cause. And the sense of being trapped in this life is precisely the gross expression of the invisible belief that I am trapped in this life. It is not the belief itself, it is one of the consequences of that belief. So, as always, the only thing that can be done is to rid yourself of that belief. It is not to rid yourself of that expression of the belief, but to rid yourself of the belief itself.

When the expression of the belief is intense and strong, it is absolutely possible for you, despite the nastiness of it, to see whether it is not the case that this presence, this space, this spaciousness remains untouched. It is possible for you to see for yourself whether it is true that this presence, this underlying reality is always the same. The point of that is not in order to convince you that it is the same, because in some way knowing that it is the same will heal the wounds of your psyche and your body. It is because looking at it brings the light in. You cannot see the belief, but the light destroys it and, gradually, what you are now referring to as "the sense of being trapped in the life" will reveal itself to be something different, or will change, or will go away, or will not be a problem.

What you can do is one of two things. Either look for the unmoving, ever-present reality in which the sense of being trapped and at stake in this life appears and disappears, and in which bliss appears and disappears, or look and see if you cannot find the one who is trapped in this life. Trying to find the one who is trapped in this life will reveal nothing, except this reality in which the idea appears and disappears. In all cases, what you can do, whenever psychological pain and suffering appear in your mind and in your life, look and see if you are not still here, and that being here is not still the same. Just look at it, just look at that underlying, eternal reality. Just look at it, just for a second. It is not going to instantaneously destroy the experience of misery and confusion, but this looking will, over time, eradicate that belief that is the wellspring of that whole energetic business. I don't know what else to say. Is that helpful at all?

Yes, it is helpful, as usual. And you always say the right thing. So, I will take your advice.

Very good news, thank you very much. Anybody else?

Hello John, how are you doing?

Very well. And you?

Not too bad, thank you. You always say just to look at ourselves whenever it occurs to us to do so. But I was wondering if you are actually thinking that, as soon as we start that, eventually we'll do it all the time. I was wondering if it has to become an act that we do a lot more often than just now and then, to actually get rid of this false belief.

Well, that is a good question, actually. Here is the actual fact of the matter. Already, always, we are looking at ourselves. Already, always we are aware of what we are. Now, once this conscious process begins, and that awareness is seen, it's my experience that it kind of takes you. The time that these things take to manifest is entirely idiosyncratic, but the fact is that if you will start doing it, it will start doing itself. Every day I get new emails confirming this with other people. This is the universal report of everybody who has had experienced with it.

In the end, you see that there is no time when you are not looking at yourself. Actually, there is nothing you are looking at that is not yourself. Yes, you can expect that, as time goes on, this self-seeing will become automatic, and more frequent. It will not necessarily be more intense, but it will become more frequent. Intensity really is not required. Intensity is just one of those things we do to enjoy ourselves. It will take over, it will become more frequent, until there is nothing but that. Do you hear that?

Yes. I look forward to it as well. I have another question. I know you hate these kinds of questions, they are kind of beside the point, like you say, but I am interested, anyway. Once you finally got rid of this false belief, is it the case that, when you are talking to someone, you are fully aware that you are talking to yourself?

As are you. The fact is that you, or I, or anyone else, have never seen, heard, tasted, dreamed of, thought about anything but yourself, our self, I, which is you. And you will see that has always been self-evidently true. It is very difficult to talk about these things, and the reason why these things are beside the point is because it is impossible to say anything true and real about any of this. But yes, yes. There is nothing anywhere to be found but you, and that is self-evident to me.

I think in Hinduism it is called leela. Do you agree with that way of looking at it, that we actually brought this on ourselves on purpose, for a game?

In the same way that there is an infinite range of questions that can be formulated and put together, such as, Why is this so? Why has this happened? How can I do this? What does this mean? Does this mean this thing or the other thing? Is suffering this or is suffering that? Just as there is an infinite range of questions, there is also an even more infinite range of ways of ineptly trying to describe the qualities and the characteristics of reality. You see, the leela itself is only reality. The leela itself is the face of reality. It is the endlessly upwelling, rising, energetic movement that is the face of you, the face of reality. The idea that we have brought this on ourselves in order to gain some boon, or some good experience in finding ourselves again, is an entirely legitimate metaphorical expression of an insight that is common in reality. But there are many other equally legitimate and equally illegitimate methods of concocting a story, an interpretation, and a narrative that satisfactorily says something about the qualities of reality. And none of them are true.

What is possible is not to determine whether and to what extent these ancient teaching stories actually conform to reality. Perhaps partly as a result of having been inflamed by the reading of these teachings stories, what is possible is for you to see that there is no reality to see other than the simplicity of your presence. It is possible for you to see that the amazing manifestation of existence is incomprehensible, and utterly simple. And it is possible for you to see for yourself, face to face, what all these stories are about. Then, you will see what they were trying to say, and you will laugh at how far short we have always fallen in the attempt to say anything true about reality, such as leela, or karma, or the absolute, or any of the other ways in which we have undertaken to say something real. Then, you can see for yourself what that is all about. Actually, you already do see it and you can see that you see it. Then, if you are so inclined, you can do try to do better than all those other guys who have failed so miserably in the past.

So, do I hold to that theory of things? Well, no. I don't really have a theory of things. I see how beautiful they are. But I see you in all of it. I see nothing but you in all of it. And so do you. So, my prayer is that we will all see what everybody has been trying to say something about. And then, we will all either shut up about it, or maybe we will sing hymns and write symphonies and paint paintings and poetry, and so forth. But I'm more interested in the seeing than in the understanding. I am more interested in the seeing than in the narrative. And I think you will be too. Is that helpful?

Yes, thank you. Yes, I am very interested in the seeing. I have been doing it for a little while now. And I am glad to say it has become quite playful, recently. There used to be this real anxiety of "I have to do this." Now, although I am doing it often, it is just enjoyable to do it as well. Thanks a lot, John. I will let you talk with someone else.

Thank you. It is a great play. Anybody else?

Hello, John. How are you? I get reminded a lot to inquire and, whenever I do, this sort of enormous self-consciousness comes about all around: Am I doing it right? What am I doing? I have been doing it for a long time now, and it never seems to change that much. That seems to be where a lot of my attention is. This circus going on around, a sort of self-consciousness, but I did also wonder whether what is looking is what I am looking for...

Yes, what is looking is what you are looking for, that is absolutely the case. I have to say also that it is interesting that you would describe what you see to be the problem as "self-consciousness," since that is the actual goal of the self-inquiry. It is precisely this self-consciousness. Now, I do understand what you are referring to when you say "self-consciousness," that very sense of vulnerability, openness, and being actually on the edge, where you don't know whether you are doing it right, and you don't know whether you are doing it wrong.

The actual reality of that experience is not a problem. It is not reality exactly, except insofar as everything is reality, but it is not the experience of a problem. The personal apparatus of the mind only has a limited vocabulary with which to relate to arising experience, and that limited vocabulary is what makes it pretty much vacillate between "I like this" and "I don't like this," because this is pretty much its only vocabulary. But, from an absolute point of view, this appearance of the self-consciousness and the timidity is itself beside the point and nothing whatsoever needs to be done about it. Even within the relative standpoint of the experience of being human and in a human body, the actual experience that is being seen as a problem is actually quite light-hearted and simple, and not so bad a metaphor itself for reality, which itself is lighthearted and utterly undefended.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't see the problem, and the only thing to do is to do what you are doing, by which I mean to continue this heroic effort to look at yourself, to have the seeing of yourself. That is the only thing to be done. Nothing can stop you from doing that. You are here, and there is not even anything that needs to be done about what I say is a misinterpretation of these experiences. There is not even anything that needs to be done about the desire to get rid of them in the face of the certainty that comes from long experience that you can't. There is not anything that needs to be done about any of it, and there is not anything that needs to be stopped from being done. The only thing that is needed is to continue the determination to be seeing yourself directly, absolutely directly. Do you hear that?

I do, John. Just lately, I have kind of been experimenting a lot more, probably because I keep getting that self-consciousness and it is like sort of the same response all the time. When I'm reminded, even when I just turn my attention  inward, even if that's all I do, even if I don't know what am I doing, here I am, and I've been reminded of this fact.

What has happened here is that you have discovered a skillful means. All I am asking is that you look within, just turn your attention a hundred and eighty degrees from where it generally rests and look. Not to see anything, not to get anything, just to look. So, that is actually quite good news and quite confirming of the self-teaching nature of the desire to see oneself. Do you hear that?

That's really confirming. This mind comes up with ideas that it is hopeless, but if this is the best I can do, it is actually very good to hear you say that. And also, what I have been doing is whatever it is that is looking I've been attempting to look at that, which is very bizarre. It is sort of like the mind doesn't know what the hell is going on, and neither do I. I just try anything to experiment with that.

That is perfect. And if I have failed to say this in the past, let me say it now. That is perfect for everybody. This is what I am trying to say. Most of what I have been trying to say today is the fact that I cannot directly put your hand on what it is that I want you to feel. It is kind of herding cats, which is an expression I heard sometimes. I only try to nudge you in that direction, so that you, with your innate intelligence, and with your delightful willingness to experiment, will find the way home, you will find the way to the light. You cannot be denied, that is the truth. So, I am very happy to hear all this. Anything else?

It does not feel like arriving anywhere, or getting the feel of anything. It only feels like turning the attention around, but I never feel like it lands anywhere or anything really opens up. But that doesn't really matter at this point, does it?

It does not matter in the slightest. When I tell you to try to get the feel of it, it is because I am looking around trying to find some way to give everybody that I speak with some sense of what I am talking about. It is so hard to do that, because you are so ever-present. If you were missing, or absent, or hidden away in a corner somewhere, it would be much easier for me to tell you how to go and look for it. So, when I say "get the feel of it," don't take it literally. All I am ever trying to do is to give you some guidance and direction in finding this light, in seeing what it is that you are always seeing, in seeing the desire to see what is real for yourself. So, do not pay attention to the literal meaning of what I say when I talk about these things. Okay?

John, you know, from what you say, eventually there is something more beautiful than what I am experiencing. I guess, at the moment, I am still adhering to the belief? There is nothing amazing or even beautiful happening. That is all I am doing. Is that because that belief is still strong in place?

Yes, precisely, because the truth of the matter is that you never see anything but beauty, wherever you look. That is my experience. What you are convinced is unbeautiful, despicable and you hope will be gone when you are all finished, like the self-consciousness, or the confusion, or whatever is going on in the mind, is nothing but pure beauty. These things are just arising, they are the endless ebb and flow of the expression of reality. We tell stories about them that flow from the conviction that we are subject to them, and trapped in this life. So, we tell stories about them like, "Oh, this is the self-consciousness that I dread, and that I guess it'll go away, and I hope I'll get better," and "Oh, this is the confusion that I dread," or "Oh, this is the terror that I dread," but those are just stories about this energetic movement about which we know nothing. These are, in themselves, only the endlessly arising expression of reality, the endlessly arising face of reality.

So, yes, the day will come when your belief in these stories, which are rooted in the conviction that you are at stake in this life, will just not be there anymore. The stories may continue, because they really do no harm, but your belief in them will just not be there anymore. And you will see all as it is. You already, always have seen all as it is. I know that is not helpful, but it is all I can say.

No, it is very helpful, because I can see that already, some of the stories that were very dominant when I started this are rarely now stopping me. I can see that things have moved along, and everything you said has been very helpful. Thank you very much.

You are very welcome. Thank you for coming forward. These conversations that we have here in these meetings are the heart and soul of inquiry. It is I, considering and reflecting upon the reality that I am. And that reality is the same, whether I say you, or me, or I, or they, or we, or them, or us, or any other pronoun. I am very grateful to you for your willingness to come and speak to me like this.

I think we are going to bring this to a close now. I really liked this meeting, and I really like these gatherings in this online venue. I like the range of conversation that is available to us here. You see, I am not different from you. I am fed and watered from the same spring as you. I am you.

Thank you so much for coming and spending time with us, and paying attention to all this. Thank you so much for your gratitude, your willingness to penetrate the cloud of words that I give to you and get from that something that leads you home, something that leads you to the light that you are, to the reality that you are. I am absolutely at your service. I thank you and I am grateful to you with every breath.

We really can do this. We all really can do this. We do not need scripture or liturgy. We can do this ourselves. We are this truth that we seek. And we do not need to wait any longer. We have been trying to throw off what we imagine to be the debilitating cloak of ignorance for as long as we have been able to speak of these things, and we can see now what it is all about. We really can do this, there is no need for us to be crippled, and stymied by philosophical understandings or philosophical confusion. There is no need for us to be at the mercy of boons dispensed by those we imagine to be the dispensers of boons. No one can do this for us, but we can do it for ourselves.

You are the light; you have always been the light. You are always here. You are never absent. You need not know that, but you can see that. Look at yourself, have the seeing of yourself, as often as you can. Have the seeing of the light, have the seeing of the space. Have the seeing of whatever metaphor is useful to you in describing what you are, the presence that you are. You are here, and know it. Nothing else is needed. Thank you for this time together. I will see you again, as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.

© 2008  John Sherman. All rights reserved.

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