This is a good experience for us. Carla and I pride ourselves on always starting on time, and having everything together, and not imposing upon you the confusion and craziness of putting together one of these meetings. And, of course, that's all fine and dandy, but the truth is, we are always graced and lucky when things go well. And I am grateful for your patience.

I come here, as I go everywhere, to speak about self-inquiry. Does anybody have no idea what self-inquiry is, or what I have to say about it? Good. So I am going to start with a little story. I am kind of notorious for having no truck with metaphysical and spiritual discussions, ideas and things like that. I think they are okay, they are enjoyable, they are for entertainment. But I don't have much time for them; I have lost interest in them over the years. 

I just learned recently from whence came this impulse on the part of those of us who are taken by the spiritual possibility to talk about reality, as if we could say anything real about reality. It started a long time ago, a thousand years before Christ, even before that, with the Aryans, who were a gathering of people who lived on the steppes northwest of India. They had lived there in peace for a long period of time. They were mostly shepherds, herders and gatherers of agricultural stuff, and they pretty much stayed in place and didn't bother anybody. And then, one group of them discovered that up north of them, in Armenia, there were other people who had succeeded in domesticating the horse, and in domesticating the horse, they had also come upon the possibility of making war chariots, and waging war on their neighbors, and being able to dispense with the need to plant seeds, tend to crops and keep cows, and so forth, because they stole all of that from their neighbors.

So, one part of this Aryan bunch got a hold of Armenian horses and Armenian war chariots and they proceeded to turn on the rest of the Aryans and take all their cows, their sheep, their agriculture, the food that they had stored and take it for themselves. And, in the process, they slaughtered anybody who got in their way. The just generally had a good time being cowboys. One thing led to another, and those of the Aryans who retained their peaceful agricultural and herding ways had a religious insight, which became known as Zoroastrianism. 

Of course, no religious insight can hold against the power of galloping war chariots so, in the end, the Zoroastrians were driven out of that area and they ended up in Persia, which is now Iran. And the cowboys drifted into India, and began to migrate toward the southeast, through India, toward the Ganges basin, burning and murdering, raping and pillaging as they went along. They were the original source of the Vedas and much of the religious ideas about the equality between self and fire, and the True Self, and all of those things. Most of those ideas (and most of the Vedic prescriptions about the way to live your life) come from the descendants of these cowboys, the people with the horses and the chariots. Eventually, they got populous and settled into the area, and then some of them began to concentrate more on spiritual matters than on how to feed themselves and take stuff from their neighbors. And more of the Vedas were written, and at one point, about a thousand years before Christ, the idea of Brahman occurred to them. 

Brahman. The One. The One without a second. The all in all Brahman. And, of course, they saw pretty quickly that there was nothing that they could say about Brahman, because they were within Brahman. Therefore, there was no way that they could conceptualize and understand Brahman as an object within them. So, it became clear to them that there was nothing much they could say about this reality. They started playing a game for entertainment's sake. They would gather together, and two of them would play a game. One of them would ask the other a question about the nature of Brahman, about the nature of reality. And the one who was asked would answer as best he could and then, it was his turn to ask a question of his opponent.  And the opponent would answer as best as he could, and so forth. This would go back and forth, until finally one of them could not find anything to say, and was kind of struck dumb. And all assembled were stunned into a vast silence at the recognition of the inadequacy of human reason to say anything real. And that vast silence that they were stunned into was the deliciousness that they sought in playing the game in the first place. They knew already that there was nothing whatsoever they could say that was real; they just sought that experience of vastness and silence that came at the end of the game. And, of course, the experience of the silence and vastness did not remain; therefore it took doing this again and again. Within much of the spiritual realm, it is the same thing we are doing now, the same thing we are always doing.

That is the reason, I think, why I have so little interest in talking about reality, because it is really obvious to me that there is nothing that can be said about reality anyway. And I have lost the taste for these passing experiences of vastness and silence, since reality is here, always. Reality is what you are, always. And there is no need to seek some special aspect of that for entertainment; I have other things I can do for entertainment.

Still, I talk. But I don't so much talk about reality, because I don't have anything to say about reality. I talk about you, and the possibility of being finished with the idea that you are at stake in this life.  It means nothing to me if people go and try to get spiritual experiences, or material experiences, or intellectual experiences, or any of that; that is what we do. I mean, others of us go to the movies or watch TV. But I don't see much difference between going to the movies and watching TV, and engaging in spiritual speculation, seeking that hit, that rush of recognition.

I had a meeting on the phone with a woman yesterday. She lives in Canada, and she has been listening to our podcasts, watching the videos, and reading the stuff that is on the web. She has really been quite affected by what she has heard and seen there. And she wanted to talk to me about some things that confused her, so we set up a meeting on the phone and I talked to her yesterday afternoon. 

The self-inquiry that I speak about is the conscious, intentional effort to see yourself face to face, without mediation, or understanding, or even the need for that moment to last; just the conscious intentional effort, whenever you can, to see yourself face to face, knowing it to be you. One of the things she asked me about was what I meant when I said that "the inquiry has to be conscious." Because, you see, the game of the Aryan spiritual aspirants brought them face to face with reality. It did. But there was no conscious recognition that what they were seeing was them. What they were seeing was Brahman, vastness, infinite consciousness, love, whatever. Not you, not me, but something else. Something other. Something that I might aspire to be, or aspire to be true to, or aspire to understand, or aspire to get more of, but not me. So, she asked me what I meant by this business of conscious self-inquiry, and the prerequisite that it be conscious.

Anywhere we go in the spiritual universe, any meetings we attend, any meditation sessions or yoga sessions we attend, anything we do whatsoever, has a great likelihood of bringing us momentarily in touch with the reality of what we are, without us knowing that it is the reality of what we are. Self-inquiry brings us directly, face to face, with the reality of what I am, in the full conscious knowledge that this is what I am. And that is the knife that cuts through the knot. So, that is what I mean when I talk about it being conscious. It isn't any special spiritual ooga-booga thing; it is just that when we do this practice, when you do this inquiry into the reality of your nature, it must be conscious.

It is really true that the only problem in our lives anywhere to be found is the false belief that we are our lives. That is really true, and I know it is true from my own experience; and I know it is true from the reports of people who have undertaken this inquiry themselves. And the reports from people that come to me all the time, who say "You know what? I really don't understand what I am doing, but everything is just fine."

So, if it is true that the only problem is a false belief about what I am, and that false belief is that "I am my life," then the only possible solution to it can have nothing to do with anything I do in my life.  The solution can’t be encouraged or kept from by anything I do in my life. All of that is beside the point of the main problem, which is this false belief. And if it is true that that is the only problem, then the only solution has to be the truth. And it is just so obvious that a child could see it. If it is true that it is the false belief that causes my misery, my heartache, my longing, and this underlying seeking, then the only solution has to be the truth. It has to be. And the only way to see the truth is to look for it consciously. 

So, the self-inquiry I speak of is precisely this conscious, intentional effort to look at myself, to see myself face to face as often as possible, whenever it occurs to me to do so. And the promise is that if you do that, over time, the sense that you are at stake in your life will vanish. The sense that you are at stake in what is thought or done, in what happens to you, or what you do to somebody else vanishes over time. And what is revealed is that, as always, life is self-realization.

Your life is self-realization. Realization is not something that happens to you, it is you.  It is you as your life in this world, in this moment. And that cannot be learned, you cannot be persuaded of that. You cannot be made to believe that, instead of whatever else you believe. That is the natural, inevitable outcome of consistently, consciously making the effort to look at yourself, to look yourself in the face, to see what you are. And what you are is here. This is the good news. This effort to see yourself is not hard. It is not reserved for the few special, advanced, many-births-avatars and so forth. It is easy because you are here. You are always here, you are never absent, you are absolutely certain that you are never absent. There is no possibility of persuading you that you are sometimes here, and sometimes not here, and you are always aware of that.

So, the inquiry is much easier done than said. I guarantee you, if you look to see what it is that you are, you will see yourself. I guarantee that. If you look to see what has not changed, what is permanent, you will also see yourself, but you won't know it to be yourself. You must look for you.  When you see the reality of the never-absent, certain presence of you, you will see it to be just that: permanent, unchanging, untouched, never affected, unhelped or unhurt by anything whatsoever. And then, you will look somewhere else, you will look to something else. You will look to entertainment, or samadhis, or to get drunk, or to get high... Then it will occur to you again, just for a second, to stop and ask yourself: "What am I, really? What is it to be, really?" And it is that persistence, over time, that pays off; that persistence, that determination, whenever you think of it, to just stop for a second. You don't have to go into a corner. You can, if you want to. You are there, too. But you don't have to. Just stop for a second and look at yourself.

And, before you know it, that belief that you are your life (and with it the idea that you are at stake in your life), and the natural, automatic separation of you from your life, the holding at bay your thoughts, your desires, what you want, what you don't want, before you know it, all of that will be gone. Maybe you will retain interest in the entertainment of spiritual discourse, and maybe you won't.  But if you seek entertainment, you will be seeking entertainment, and not peace, fulfillment, enlightenment, realization, or anything of the like.

I don't have any interest in spiritual discussions, but I have discovered that I do have an interest in the history of spiritual development, because it can be useful to see from whence come these occupations that enthrall us so. I guess I don't have anything else to say.

Hi, it is good to see you.

It is good to see you.  I have a question.

Okay.

When you said that, once you recognize who you are, then you are finished...

I didn't say that.

Okay, I perceived it as once you recognize what you see, then, you are finished with the story and the drama. Life still goes on, but the madness is gone. That is what I perceived. 

When the belief that you are your life is gone, the madness goes away.
           
Right.

Right now, in this moment, you know very well that you can look and see the reality of what you are. You are here. You are not changed. Nothing hurts you, nothing helps you. You can see that. Seeing that and thinking that will bring an end to the madness in my life is a kind of childish thing that we hold on to. I had somebody write to me not long ago and ask me if there is not some massive shift that occurs. How could that be? If what we are speaking about is you, and if you are ever present and permanently present, then how could being finished with the false belief about what you are represent a massive shift in anything?

We are not seeking after some new thing to come to us. It is not about seeking after the realization and enlightenment to come to us. It is a practice, the purpose of which is to rid us of a disease, of a false belief. Nothing can give you what you are, nothing.  There is no experience that will be authentic and then, "Oh, now I get it!  Now I see what I am." You are always the same. You never move, you never change.

The purpose of the practice therefore is not to bring you realization, or to bring you enlightenment, or to bring you peace, or love, or anything at all, but to get rid of this false belief. Not to get rid of the thing that I falsely believe myself to be, even. Just to get rid of the belief, just to do away with that. In our spiritual adventure, we have heard that, and we have turned it into an idea that what we have to do is get rid of ego, because it is ego that I am falsely identified with. But nobody has had any luck at that, so that can't be it.

This false belief is the lens through which you see everything. It is not something that you can trade off and say, "Okay, I am going to believe something different." This belief is the lens through which you see everything, and the eradication of that belief is to just get rid of that lens. That is what inquiry is intended to do. And it is intended to do that by the repeated meeting with the reality of what you are, because the lie can't stand up over repeated contact with reality, over time. No lie can. But it takes time. It takes time for that falseness to depart, to be eaten up, to be eroded away. For me, it took a long time, lot of work.

When you say long time, how long? 

A hundred years?  Is that too long?

No. I think I have been doing that too, you know, for a hundred years.

In this lifetime, there was a time when there was the appearance of a real desperate need to be finished with this nonsense. Whatever the nonsense was, there was a real desperate need in me; I could not live unless I could be finished with this. You see, that's the other thing about looking for love, or looking for peace, or looking for emptiness, or looking for awareness, or looking for Brahman, or looking for True Self. The desperate need brought me to the realization that what I needed absolutely to see was the reality of what I am, and not to see myself as love, and not to see myself as Brahman, and not to see myself as anything except reality of what I am. Once that desperate need got a hold of me, it took a couple of years, before the false belief, the lie went away. And I wouldn't know how else to speak of it.

You have to see that what you are looking for is the reality of what you are, and not something that will confirm some idea you have about what you should be — like love, or peace, or emptiness, or awareness. You have to see what you are, really. And how hard can that be? You are here! You know you are here. And it is hard to hold your attention on this reality, but it isn't hard at all to catch a flash of it. You are here. "What am I? What am I?"

And the reality of what you are never moves. Your attention will skitter away into movies and spiritual discourse, politics and other things, all of which are fine, no problem with them. But it is those moments of the direct, conscious seeing of that which nothing can be said about, of seeing it and knowing it to be you, it is the accumulation of those moments that destroys this false belief. For some, it may be quick, easy, like that! For others it may be like me, you know, "Oh, God!" And here's the thing: whether it takes a long time or a short time to rid yourself of that belief, nothing happens to you. You are the same. Okay?

When I first came here, I remember telling you in the 5-day series that I wanted justice.  And you told me, "Who wants justice?"  And when I quit seeking that, I saw it was everywhere. 

Yes, that's true. Boy, justice ain't what you think it is. Justice is what made us start at 8 o'clock tonight instead of at 7:30. 

Thank you.

You are very welcome. You keep looking, okay? I have to say something else. I have been saying this more and more lately, as I see more clearly the truth of it. I am getting better at this than I used to be. I really am. A lot of the extraneous stuff that I used to have a kind of unconscious need to honor has fallen away, and I really don't have any interest in anything except you. I don't have any interest in anything, except being able to say, as clearly as possible, what it is that I see in my own experience, and to tell you as clearly as possible what I know will finish the madness.

Meeting you stopped me from searching. It stopped my search, and it helped me tremendously.

Oh, I am happy to hear that.

And I am happy. You know, I am crying now, but I am very happy. These are happy tears.

***

I have two questions. 

Okay. I am glad to see you. 

I'm glad to see you! I will start with the messy one. Let's do politics.

Politics?

Politics. For a while recently, I was feeling quite the schizophrenic, because I was still somewhat unable to divest myself of an interest in spiritual matters. Like you say, I would like to get rid of it entirely, but it seems to keep coming back. And also, being an activist and involving myself in some of the atrocities that go on around us. I heard on the radio a gentleman, his name is Andrew Harvey, in Utah, and he talked about "sacred activist" and suddenly something went click. And this is what I want to bounce off you, because I know you have been there..

Activist, you mean? Yes, I've been there.

You have been there. It seems to me that the more one could deeply understand one's own nature, the more it would free one to... Obviously I am going theoretical here, but if I deeply understood this, as I do in little flashes, it seems to me I wouldn't get so torqued.

You would what?

I get torqued. 

Right, right. And you wouldn't get so torqued, right?

Last night, I was listening to these young Iraq veterans speaking against the war, and the pain is so excruciating that I think, "Well, I can't continue with this!" But if I understood that what was feeling the pain was not the real nature, then it would be easier to continue. So that is the question, if you can see the question there.

Let me try to approach this, okay? In the first place, the idea that there is a need to divest yourself of spiritual interests is false. The idea that there is any need to divest yourself of political activism, if there is such an idea, is equally false. There is no need to do anything at all about what unfolds in your life and, in fact, it is my long and bitter experience that all efforts that I have undertaken in my life to do something about my life have been colossal failures. That despite what I see to be what I should be, what I am in this life continues on apace, unconcerned about my ideas about how it should unfold. 

So, first of all, I don't advise you or anyone else to do anything about the way your life is living itself. If there is an interest in spiritual expression, then there is an interest in spiritual expression. The truth is that you are not touched by that. That does not hurt you; that does not help you. If there is a need in the life to become involved in political activism, then you will absolutely become a political activist. And the truth is that you are not touched by that, you are not affected by that. So that what I have to offer is less than that. What I have to offer is the possibility of, over time, ridding yourself of the idea that you are your life, or the belief that you are your life. Not even the idea, the idea that you are your life comes and goes. But this root belief that "this life is me" can be eradicated.

Now, as far as the horror story that is the way that the story of humanity is unfolding in the world today, and it is certainly a horror story, it is not so different from what we have been doing for all of our time on the planet, except there are many more of us, and we have much greater means to inflict horror upon one another. So far as I can see, in the history of humanity, nothing that has been tried to put an end to this suicidal, horrifying insanity has had any effect at all, except to shift it or move it.

Twenty or thirty years ago, I was deeply taken by the need to do whatever small thing I could do to destroy capitalism, because I could see clearly that capitalism was the problem, and that all the other problems flowed from it. I wanted peace, I wanted for human beings to live in peace with one another. I wanted for the slogan of Marxism to prevail: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs." And what I did, in order to serve what was actually a really pure determination to bring an end to wickedness and evil in the world, was wage war: blow up buildings, rob banks, get in shootouts, escape from jail, cause great grief, suffering and fear to people.

So, I don't see that there is anything that can be done in the world, to change the way human beings are with one another. I don't see anything that works. It all resolves itself down to warfare by a different name. "I am at war with war!" And yet, it is self-evidently, obviously, incomprehensibly stupid and insane for us to be doing this to each other. There are no two human beings really separate anywhere on earth. We are in this boat together. We have always been, always will be, until we wipe ourselves out. 

But what I have also seen is that, once this root belief that I am at stake in this life is gone, what goes with it is the whole internal movement of warfare, which begins in the human heart with the movement, "I want this, I don't want that. I must have this, I must have pure, good, peaceful, enlightened thoughts, and I must not have these ugly, hateful, unenlightened thoughts. I must have good, pure, peaceful, loving desires, and not have greedy, lustful, self-serving desires." That is where the whole war starts. And, in the absence of the belief that I am at stake in this life, the war is gone. 

I see so obviously what Ramana meant. You know, Ramana's ashram was robbed when Ramana was alive. Robbers came in, and stole a bunch of stuff and ran off. The people in the ashram, the devotees, wanted to go after them, wanted to get sticks and go after them and get their stuff back. They said, "Ramana, we've got to go get these people." And Ramana looked at them and said, "What's up with you, anyway, are you crazy? If you bite your tongue, are you going to punch out your teeth?" Because that’s exactly how stupid it is everything we do to try to get even with, or get what is mine that you have. That is exactly what it all is. It is like punching out your teeth because you bite your tongue.

So, to make a very long sermon shorter, if there is anything you can to do help your fellow human beings, do it. If there is anything you can do to encourage people not to make war with each other, do it. But do continue with the inquiry that will rid you of the idea that you are at stake in whether you are engaged in spiritual ideas, or engaged in political activism; the idea that you are stake in whether you do the right thing about this viciousness that is going on in the world.

First, always, again and again, look to see what you are, just that. You are here, right now. Just look to see what you are, and do it again and again, until finally this internal warfare is still. And if this person is caught up by the desire to pursue spiritual understanding, what is that to you? It doesn't hurt you, and it doesn't help you. And if she is caught up by the desire to do work for the good of humanity, what is that to you? You are not at stake in it.

But you have to see yourself, you have to do it again and again. And there is no possibility of you gaining an understanding of things that will free you of your negative tendencies, no possibility. Being finished with the idea, the understanding that you are your life will do that. There is nothing you can do to stop that, and there is nothing you can do to make that happen. Do you follow me?

So, I'm going to be greedy, and ask my second question.  Last time I was here, you admitted that meditation is useful, and I don't know how to do it.

I might have said it can be useful. I did it.

You flat out recommended it.

So, what is your question?

How do you do it? 

The meditation that I speak of I got from the Buddhists. It is a very simple Buddhist meditation, I think it is called shamata meditation. It is just a matter of watching your breath. You sit there, and you close your eyes. Sit comfortably, you don't have to get in any posture or anything, just sit down, and be comfortable. Close your eyes, and focus all of your attention on the physical sensation of the air, as it passes across your nostrils; the feeling in the tissue of your nostrils, as the breath goes out, and as it comes in. You will see that going out, it is a warm sensation, coming in it is a cooler sensation, but that is beside the point. What you are after is to get a one-pointed, attentive experience of this physical sensation. And what you do, while you are doing this, is with each out-breath you count 1, and the goal is to reach 10. Chances are you won't get anywhere near 10.  

You do this on exhaling?

On the out-breath, you count. But you are focused totally on the sensation of the air crossing the flesh of the nostrils, without bothering to name it, or understand it, or do anything with it. Just that raw sensation. And what will happen is this: You will count maybe up to 2, and you will find yourself following some attractive thought that comes floating into the mind. You may ride that train for a while, God knows for how long, and then you will remember. Then you just say to yourself, no matter what it is, say quietly to yourself: "Thinking" and bring your attention back to the sensation of the breath. "Thinking." Do that even if what gets your attention is some physical pain, or some itch, or something. Still, you say: "Thinking," bring your attention back to the breath, and start over at 1.

The only purpose of this exercise is to strengthen the mind. There is no purpose to it whatsoever apart from that. You will find that it makes you feel good, and that is okay, too. But that is not the point; that is just a side effect. What you are after is to be able to strengthen the mind. And the reason that this meditation is useful in the inquiry is because the whole of the inquiry is to bring your attention to bear on an experience that is not really an experience. The whole of the inquiry is to bring your attention to trying to see yourself face to face. And this is not an experience that is really an experience, but you see it immediately. So, the purpose of this meditation is to prepare yourself. It is like pumping iron. You are getting good at moving your attention, holding your attention, keeping your attention focused one-pointedly on an object that has no meaning. Is that helpful?

Oh, it is. 

But then, when you are doing it, when you really feel like you are doing it, look at yourself! Look at yourself. My God, I can't believe I just gave meditation instructions.  But you know, I got nothing against anything. What I want is for everybody on the face of this planet to be finished with this ridiculous idea that they are their lives, and anything that serves that is okay with me, really. I am no purist of any kind. Anybody else?

***

Could you clarify a little bit this idea of understanding? I couldn't quite get what you said before, that you are never going to get understanding,  but what you need is understanding of knowing that you are not this life. Or maybe "knowing" is not the word...

If I said that, I misspoke myself. You will never understand what you are.  Never!

Why is that? You are not that?

Because understanding is too small. The whole movement of understanding occurs within you. It is an arising within you. It comes and goes within you, so that, as the ancient Aryans saw, if what you are trying to understand is what contains you, it is impossible to do so. You can’t become an object, right? This special skill of understanding is a small thing that comes within you. And it can't contain you, because you contain it.

But yet, we continue to try to understand...

I don't ask you to try to understand. What I ask you to do is to look at yourself face to face without understanding, without the need for understanding. You are here, right? You are never absent, are you? You know that, right?

No, I am not sure I know that.

Well, look and see if you know that. Are you here?

I am here.

Can I persuade you otherwise?

Probably not.  No. 

Probably not. But I could persuade you that I am not here. If you were willing to follow a philosophical argument on the matter, I could certainly persuade you that it is not certain that I am here. You can't be certain of that. And I could persuade you that you can't even be certain that you are here, and that this body is here.

You could persuade me of that?

Sure, I could. Consider it. You could be in Gitmo, strapped into a gurney, with hallucinogenic drugs being pumped into you. All this could be a completely manufactured world. It could be, couldn't it? How would you know?

But what would that have to do with you believing that you are here now?

Follow me. First of all, you see that, right? 

Okay.

I could persuade you that this room is not here. Not that it is not here, but that it is not necessarily here. The one thing that I could never persuade you of is that you are not here. Even if your arms, and legs were seen to be conditional, you are not conditional. You are absolutely here. No philosophical, metaphysical, or any other kind of argument could dissuade you of the certainty that you are here. Is that right?

Yes. Right.

Right. So, what that means is that that is all that you know. Now, how do you know that? What does it feel like?

It is hard to describe what it feels like.

You can't describe it. I am not asking you to describe it. But you saw it for just a second. You know what I am pointing to. That is you. That is always the same. That has always been the same; it was the same when you were 3 as it is now. That is you. And that is what I am pointing to. What I am asking is that, every chance you get, you look at that, just that. And everything else that you do in life, don't worry about it. If you need to change it, try to change it. If you need to keep it from changing, try to keep it from changing. That is all beside the point. This reality is neither hurt nor helped by anything that goes on there. So, the inquiry is to look at that, every chance you get — driving your car, going to the checkout stand, fighting with somebody. Whenever it occurs to you, just stop for a second and look at that certainty. And I promise you, that does the job, that takes care of it, in time.Okay? Is that helpful?

Yes, thank you.

It is so easy. That is what is so hard to get across, that it is really easy. Spiritual understanding is hard, you and it is entertaining. Most of our spiritual activity is entertainment — we go to satsang, we go to this guy, we go to that guy, we watch tapes, we listen to spiritual music. It is okay. I mean, I watch TV, you know. I like TV, it is entertaining. But it does nothing for or against you. It cannot touch you. And I can recall a time in this life when everything that came in needed to be looked at, and weighed, and held at bay for a moment, just so I could see whether this was going to be good for me, or bad for me; whether it was going to enhance my understanding, my power, or diminish me. And when I started in spiritual stuff, that revealed itself to be the thing that I had always been looking for. That was the game I wanted to play.  And it didn't do me any good, except it triggered in me desperation that was so profound, that I had to see what I was.

But most of what we do is entertainment, and it is okay. It is just like those Aryans around the campfire asking, "Okay, what can you say about reality? You say it!" And then, "Now, what can you say about reality?" until finally, they were stunned into the surprising, ,huge, powerful vastness of silence — never suspecting that that vastness and that silence was them. Yes?

***

I am up here at the risk of making a complete ass out of myself.

I do it all the time. 

I am kind of getting the idea that you are saying, basically, that nothing really matters anyway. The bottom line is like it doesn't matter whether I think this, or I think that, or I am good or I am bad. It just is; it is what it is.

Well, that may be the case, but speaking about that is of no help to you.

Understanding that is what it is, or accepting that's what it is.

No, that is not what I am saying. And it is easy to see why it would seem that way, because that is what most spiritual teachers have to say.  "Accept.  Just accept.  Don't fight."  But I have never met anybody who had any success with that. If I try to accept things, what I am really doing is fighting against my inclination to resist things.  Should I not also accept my resistance, if I am going to accept everything? Should I not also accept my stupidity, and my greed, and my hatefulness? What happens is that these teachings about the meaninglessness of life, about the fact that what I do or don't do has no meaning (that I don't have anything to say about it, that it is all predetermined; that it is all the unfolding of prarabdha), is that these teachings ring true to us.

They ring true because, they kind of are true. But there is no understanding of them that will rid me of this underlying, profound sense that I am at stake in this life. There is no understanding that will enable me to accept that in such a way that I am finished with this profound sense that I am at stake here. You know, like if I bet something, that is at stake. The sense is that I am at stake in this life, and what happens in this life affects me, touches me, helps me, and hurts me. The spiritual understanding that that is not the case does nothing to rid me of that profound, silent, underlying conviction. The only thing that will rid me of that is the destruction of the belief that I am my life. Whether or not the outcome of this is seeing that I am unaffected by it, or that I cannot do anything about it, or whatever, is beside the point.

The point is that all agree that the problem is a false belief about what I am. Most hold that there are things that can be done, within this false belief about what I am, to ameliorate or eliminate the effects of that. But the truth is that nothing can be done about it, except the truth. So what I am asking, encouraging everybody to do (no matter how ineffectively I do it), is to forget about what you understand, and what you don't understand, by which I mean there is no need to stop trying to understand, and there is no need to keep trying to understand. The only thing that will help is to see what you are, and that is beyond understanding; that is prior to understanding.  And it is really, really easy. And it is like taking medicine. It is not like getting spiritual.

So you think this is kind of likely to make it any way. I mean, it is going to make you, so I guess you wouldn't be a big fan of motivational therapy.

I don't have any problem with it. There are things that can be done to help the mind and to move things along, and I don't care about any of that. I am neither a fan nor a foe of anything that people do.

But we are here, and a kind of a goal would be to feel good. I can feel good.  I would rather feel good than depressed or something like that...

Yes, and that is the goal, to feel good. But what happens in entertainment, whether it is spiritual entertainment, or playing golf, or whatever, is that you get to feel good for a moment or so, or for an hour or so, and then you go back and that "feeling good" goes away. But what I tell you is that you always feel good.

I like that part.

You always feel good. There is never a time when you don't feel good.

What about when you are fighting with your spouse?

You still feel good. I am telling you that even when there is this conviction that you feel like crap, that itself is an aspect of feeling good, but there is no way you can know that. And that is the reason why, in spiritual circles, they encourage us to meet what arises, and to accept what is here, and all of that. Because they see that that is the case, that you always feel good. Anything that arises, if you really sink into it without resistance and with full open-heartedness, will reveal itself to be just sweet, nothing, really.

Even getting mugged in an alley?

Yeah, but chances are you won't. Your skill at sinking into what is here, and accepting what is here is not developed enough to see that. But what I am telling you is that it is always the case that this life, just as it is, is the perfect realization of reality. And that reality calls forth this life, and all life, as a way of seeing itself. It is not quite that simple, but it is like that. And the only thing that makes it so that it is only in moments of successful entertainment that you feel good, is the fact that you have a false belief that you are this life. And the good news about that is that it is really easy to rid yourself of that false belief, just by looking at what you really are, again and again.

Nobody is here saying, "Okay, you have to drink the Kool-aid," or "Give up your first-born son," or "Give me all your money," etc.  All you have to do is just look at yourself.  You never have to see me again in life. All you have to do is, whenever it occurs to you to do so, stop for a second and ask yourself, "What is to be here?  What is that?  What am I, really?" And you will see, and then you will go look at other things. But the effect of that continued meeting with reality, over time, is to destroy this false belief and, before you know it is gone, you will see that life is easy.

I will work on it.

Let me know.  In the meantime, entertain yourself!  What do I care?

***

Hi, John.

Hi, I am happy to see you.

I am happy to see you too. I am here more and more and more, and it is weird. There is almost no central point...

Yes, that's right.

And my heart is there in me – well, the sensation. But the central point kind of disappears. Does that make sense?

Yes, that’s right. Yes, it does, very much so.

There is nothing to do, is there?

There is nothing that needs to be done. As time progresses, in the absence of this craziness, it is my experience that we are in this together, all of humanity, together.  Because it is not your mind and my mind, it is just mind and that is why that central point is beginning to lose its force.  And if there is present anywhere in this human mind this idea that "I am bound," or "I am at stake here," it is present in me. How could it be otherwise? I can't find anything anywhere but me. Can you? So, the point of seeing the possibility of that is not to be taken by surprise by it. The craziness of mind persists. That is just the way it is. And the craziness of mind is the craziness of the entire human mind. We are in this together. We are in the same boat. And the only thing that we can do is see what is real. 

Sometimes it feels dangerous.

It is quite dangerous. In the sense of the way the mind is, it is quite dangerous. It is thrilling. That dangerous and thrilling doesn't touch you, and the sense of the danger and the thrill is there precisely because there is not two human beings anywhere. There are not two human minds anywhere to be found. The only mind that is present here is the human mind, and it is crazy, and it is dangerous, and it is thrilling. And the point of that is just not to be taken by surprise by it; to see, in the face of the thrill and the danger, that you are untouched by all of it.

All you can do for humanity is to see what you are; to constantly, consistently, move your attention back to reality, back to reality. That is what you can do for humanity. Because just as the totality of the human mind is present here as you, the totality of human mind includes this free mind, this freedom, this lack the need to do something, to change something, to fix something, to kill something off, to make something better. Even to make better, or to kill, or to change, or to do away with the impulse that comes in this life to do something, to change something, to make something better. Always to see, always to move the attention back to what you are, and see if it is not true that you are untouched by it.

You are not looking for what you are in order to confirm some spiritual idea, but to see whether it is true. Are you touched by it? Are you helped by it? Are you hurt by it? Are you not the same as you have always been, this reality, this ineffable reality?  And the point of that is to see what is true. Just that, it is to see what is true, and to face yourself.

And at the same time, there is joy.

Of course, there is joy. That is all there is. And in the old days, when they were describing these things, like yesterday or the day before, they called this "causeless joy." And as this need to understand things goes, along with the idea that you are at stake in this life, then you see all these things that have been said from this side, and you see what they were trying to say, what they are talking about. And you see how far short such a term as "causeless joy" falls from saying anything real about what you are talking about. But you see what they meant. And it is not what you thought they meant.

It's just that.

Just that. That's it. It is you. These lives, this energy of life is realization. That is what realization is: you, and you, and you, and you, together. As these forms arise, and change, and shift, and move, and play, and dance, that is realization. That is the realization of reality. That is you. And you are the source of it all. You are this ineffable, simple, unable to say anything about, certainty of being. And from you springs the joy, the beingness, and all of that.

That's amazing. 

Yes, it is amazing. I remember when we first met over there in the other room, wherever that was, I remember you coming over, and look at you now! You wanted to fight! It is so beautiful.

Amazing.

Who'd have thunk it.

Not me. 

Not me. 

Thank you. Thanks, John.

You're very welcome.

Okay, I guess I have said about all I can say for one night. We just came back from a trip to Chicago and Boulder, which was really quite magnificent, and we had a full day with the folks in Chicago. The first meeting of the full day, I must have thought I was Castro or something, I spoke for an hour and — God, I don't know, forever. It never ceases to amaze me how much I manage to say about something about which nothing can be said. And I excuse myself with the excuse that I do so always in order only to get us all kind of tricked into looking at what is real. Not tricked into drinking the Kool-aid, or going into samadhi, or any of that stuff. But kind of getting us all tricked into, for just a second, seeing what is real, so that we know, and can recognize, what it is that we are when we look again.

So, in the end, it comes down to this: there is nothing but you anywhere to be found, and the only activity that can rid of you of the underlying dissatisfaction and the need to seek is to find out what you are. You are not your lives. You are here.

So, thank you for your time, thank you for your attention, thank you for everything. I am your servant. May all being know itself.

© 2007 John Sherman. Some rights reserved.

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