Adapted from a Meeting with John Sherman
Ojai, California - September 9, 2006

The whole teaching of Ramana Maharshi can be reduced to two simple points. First of all, the only problem I have is a false idea about what I am. Secondly, the only solution to that problem is the truth about what I am. It's that simple. The truth of what I am is not far. It doesn't require gaining anything, it doesn't require understanding anything, it doesn't require fixing anything in the story about what I am and it doesn't require undertaking any therapeutic measures. It doesn't require anything at all other than to see what I am. And of course, it is when you try to become true to some idea about what you are that all the problems begin.

I am here. In fact, I am here is all that I know. There is nothing else that I know or can know except that I am here. All the rest is story, all nonsense, something to live up to, something to adhere to. But I am here, and I am absolutely certain that I am here. No one can dissuade me of that. No one anywhere can change my mind about the certainty that I am here. There is no teaching, no trance state, no hypnosis, no siddhis, no power whatsoever that can convince you that you do not exist. There are powers than can distract you, entertain you and make you feel good or bad, but there is no power anywhere -- not even God himself has that power -- that can make you believe that you are not here.

You are here, of that you are certain. So where from does this certainty come? Why are you so sure of that? What is it about you that makes you certain that you exist? That's the whole of self-inquiry. All that needs to happen for you to be finished with the false belief about what you are is for you to deliberately and consciously turn your attention to look for and find whatever it is that makes you certain that you are. How hard can that be? You are never absent, you are never missing and you never change. How hard can it be to consciously and deliberately experience the reality of being that you are?

There are those who hold that there are things that have to happen in order for you to know what you are. I think that is ridiculous. You already know what you are. There are those that hold that there are therapeutic measures that need to be taken in order to "make more transparent ego consciousness" or "transcend ego" or do something with it that makes it easier to see what you are through the cloud of craziness that is ego.

That can't be true. You are obviously, undeniably here, no matter what madness is coming and going within you. And God knows we have tried in every way that we can find -- psychology, spirituality, politics, and economics. We have tried it all. We have tried to make things right, to bring things into alignment just enough so that we can finally be free of whatever it is that we are bound by. But nothing really works.

No therapy has ever succeeded in eradicating the ignorant belief that I am the story of me; therapy, after all, only operates within the story of me. There is no spiritual practice that has ever done that. I say this from my own experience and also from the teaching of Ramana Maharshi: none of that means a thing. Nothing whatsoever needs to be done to the story of me in order for me to be what I am and know what I am. Nothing has to be fixed, nothing has to be transcended. I am here. What am I?

If it is true that the only problem is this false belief, then it must be true that the only solution is the truth. And the truth of what you are is here always, never absent; it is always accessible to you. It takes nothing whatsoever for you to take one second now, in this moment and look and see: What do I feel like? Not how do I feel, but what feels like me? The target of this question is the truth. It is the absolute truth.

There is another story that we have running around this spiritual business, at least I can confirm it in my own experience. For quite a while, I was afflicted with the idea of the final solution, the idea that I have to find what it is that will, in an instant, transform and transcend my mind and make me a Buddha. isn't it true that this awakening is supposed to be sudden and irreversible? And if I try something and it doesn't create this instantaneous transformation, this clearing up of all confusion, all questions, all ignorance and all inclination to get hooked up in the story again, then I am barking up the wrong tree. I have to find something else, some other teaching, some other teacher, some other practice, some other blue pill or red pill.

I received a letter from a woman a couple days ago who told me, "I'm confused about something. I saw one of your satsangs a while back in which you said that in the moment of meeting Gangaji, you became immediately aware of the reality of what you are. But then, you said that during the first year after meeting Gangaji, you were involved in all kind of spiritual experiences and spiritual expressions and states, and so forth. And then after that, you sank into a hell realm, and experienced the dark night of the soul, where you had lost your way and were miserable." She wanted to know, How can that be? How can it be that you can see what you are and still remain trapped in the story of suffering? isn't it true that once you see what you are you are finished and it is all over with?

Well, no. Not really. There is a great deal of momentum in your love affair with the story of you, just as there has been a great deal of momentum in my love affair with the story of me. This is the greatest story ever told! It is a love story filled with triumph and failure, love and lust, success and, in my case, bank robberies and bombings and shoot-outs and fugitives and captures and re-captures. This story of John Sherman is the greatest story I ever knew. It's beautiful, It's wonderful, and It's rich and full of depth. Why in the world would I not go back to it? Of course, I'm going to go back to it -- until I don't do it anymore. Until the false belief that this story is me is gone, once and for all.

And even then, the story doesn't stop. I mean, here I am, in the story. Only now, the story is "John Sherman is a spiritual teacher sitting here talking to you, offering you the great gift of Ramana Maharshi." I no longer have a shred of belief that it is me, but it is still the story, isn't it? It's not true. It's all made up. Ramana tells us: "Move your attention to the source of the feeling of "I" and then move it there again, and then move it there again, and continue to move it there repeatedly, until the belief that you are the story is gone."

I came upon Ramana's teaching while I was locked in prison, so I had no regular access to my teacher. And after a year or so of resisting it, I finally turned my attention to Ramana. I did it in desperation, because I couldn't think of anything else to do. I turned my attention to Ramana and here is what I heard him say: Just look at yourself whenever you can and all will be well. Just look directly, consciously, nakedly at the experience of being, whenever you can manage to do so, and everything else will be taken care of. Don't be concerned about the continuing love affair with the story. Don't be concerned about the continuation of the false belief that you are story. The only thing you can do is look at yourself open-eyed, clear-eyed, nakedly, directly, whenever it occurs to you to do so. Do not be concerned about the time that you spend back into the love affair of the story of you. That is of no importance and counts for nothing. The only time that counts for anything are the moments you spend in direct, conscious experience of the reality of what you are. Don't waste a moment's breath regretting the strength of the grip that the story of you holds on you. Just in those moments when it dawns on you, "Wait a minute, what am I really?" stop for just a second and look at yourself and all will be well.

And I tell you from my experience that this is the truth and that this really works. Nothing else works, but this works. Over time, if you will stop for a second and look for this experience of being here whenever you can, everything else will be cleared up, and this hot thick smoke of confusion, misdirection and misunderstanding will evaporate. And I say with Ramana that, on that day, you will laugh. And I say also with Ramana that that day is exactly the same as this day. There is no difference; nothing needs to change about you. All that needs to happen is the vanishing of this false idea about what you are. And that is easy.

If you expect states and experiences you will get them, I guarantee you. They mean nothing, they give you nothing and they take nothing from you. If you expect a dark night of the soul and deep spiritual suffering, you will get it, I promise you. You will get it, and it will give you nothing and it will take nothing from you. If you expect boredom and not getting it and feeling stupid, you will get that too. Like everything else, it will give you nothing and it will take nothing from you. Only do this: when you can, when it occurs to you, stop for one second and, with your consciousness wide open, with your mind's eye wide open, just look to see what it is that makes you know you are here. Do it whenever you can, and everything else will be taken care of. This is the promise of Ramana and this is the promise that was kept in my own experience. Don't worry about any of the rest of it. Don't even worry about worrying about any of the rest of it. All that matters is those moments when you look directly at what it feels like to be. The rest of it is irrelevant.

© 2007 John Sherman. All rights reserved.