RiverGanga Foundation
On CD#2 of the March 22 Ojai workshop...

Dear John,

On CD#2 of the March 22 Ojai workshop, after you had spoken at length (one thing leading to another), you commented something to the effect that you had no idea what that "sermon" was all about. I think I heard someone in the background say "It's Sunday!" Sunday or not, from my perspective, that whole talk was for me. Let me try to explain.

As you spoke, internally within me it was like a dawn inside was unmistakably but profoundly unfolding. That is only a metaphor for what I can't speak. It has been a long time coming, and I hope I don't bore you, but part of that dawning I was experiencing was that I knew this as a child of four. I distinctly remembered that moment.

Something stronger had swept it away... a feeling like, "Why is everything so crazy?" Life finally became so crazy that I went nerts at about age 38. Then, the search began in earnest. Psychology (Esalen in particularly), women's lib, Haight-Ashbury, more crazies, near suicide, shaktipat with Muktananda, India big transcendental bhakti path. Then I met a teacher called Adyashanti and "something" happened, but I still don't know what that was. Unfortunately, after about 2-3 weeks, I thought it had happened to me, and it took ten years' time to realize it didn't happen to this person. Something happened, but it basically stripped this person away, and I ended up with nothing. Nothing... Literally nothing.

The seeker died, the spiritual life was no more. Surprise, surprise. It was sad not being a spiritual person. I thought it would get me somewhere (heh-heh). But hey, I had been thru a lot worse, so I enjoyed horses and dogs, and doing nothing in particular. I saw a YouTube video of a woman named Candice O'Denver and she talked about short moments of awareness, repeated many times and that seemed like no big deal cuz I was already familiar with the experience of ideas, thoughts, images, memories rising and passing away in what I called "my consciousness" ha-ha (still "my").

However, when I crocheted and listened to the above CD, I couldn't stop unfolding into amazement, even "shock" might not be too big a word. I am glad I do not have to try and explain what that was like, as I sat there realizing you were not talking to "me" but to me. The ordinary me I had turned my back on when I was four! What a reunion!

Anyway, Mr. John Sherman, since then I am like on "default." I simply can't stay away from looking at myself. Yikes! I have never, ever left myself through all the hairy times. I have never judged myself for the sleaze, I have never hated anybody, I have never hurt my children, I have never had my kundalini blown sky high, I have never groveled in despair... I have been there absolutely and I have never whimpered a complaint, searched for God, denounced God or found God. I have never hurt myself in self-hatred nor even known what that was. That's how neutral I had always stood until the search fizzled. Amazing! I was the most prevalent, unhidden presence right there (closer than that). Halleluia.

I still have endless thoughts passing thru, I still don't know who I am (hee-hee). The body has atrial fibrillation and fear galore, but big deal. I am here. There are no words to say to you. This is just ramble jamble, but I know you don't care. I am here and I am talking to this guy named John Sherman who knows what the hell I can't talk about, but DAMN, every time (but every time) I look at me, I am there. What more could I ever want?

You are absolutely spot on... the only thing we EVER wanted was ourself. Holy Toledo! My guess is, that will be with me until my last breath. Who could ask for more to get thru this human experience? I am so happy you came upon this for the human race. I somehow intuit what you said, that there is no personal liberation. NO. We are all in this boat together. I like your words... humanity is one creature. Maybe some day I'll get that, but if not... doesn't change a thing. I'm here. I've always been here.

My love and gratitude. Now I am going to have another look at myself! I am falling in love with meeting myself this way.

Cheers.

H.

 

Santa Cruz, California
April 21, 2009

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    People all over the world gather together with John for a couple of hours. John is available to listen to your questions, and to help you sort out any difficulties you might experience in your own practice of looking at yourself.

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    A Worldwide Meeting - July 10, 2010

    My role in this adventure of trying to bring the simplicity of this work to every human being is not to concoct teachings, ways of looking at things, instructions and practices that are my creation, and then pass them on to you for you to receive gratefully, and try to make sense of. My role here is actually to distill and articulate the product of an ongoing conversation among all of us, over a period of more than ten years now, about the discovery that bringing an end to misery in a human life is actually not only possible but easy and simple, and can be done by anyone. It requires nothing at all to accomplish this except the determination to do one simple, solitary, radical act, and that is to turn the beam of your attention onto the feeling of being you. That's it. In the end, and against all odds and all expectation, this repeated act will bring sanity into your life. It will eliminate the underlying sense that life is treacherous and not to be trusted, and that something desperately needs to be done about it.

    Complete, live recording of a Worldwide Online Meeting with John Sherman broadcast live from Ojai, California on July 10, 2010.

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    First, last, and always, my advice is only to look at the feeling of being you, without the mediation of understanding, the need to resolve paradox, or the requirement that this looking lead to any conclusion. Simply make every effort just to look, and persist in that effort as often as you can. In this effort, understanding is irrelevant, belief is irrelevant, even duration is irrelevant — the briefest look, repeated over time, does all the work.

    A Message from John Sherman, videotaped in Ojai, California on May 15, 2009.

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    Our work is to bring the practice of looking at oneself to all who are interested.

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