Dear John,

I write these lines to you who are my true self, peace be with you. Where to start? The pen, the paper, the ink, the putting together of thoughts, the pressure of putting all this down... By pressure I mean all the above touch each other in space, in nothing, and yet I'm trying to make it express that which is beyond no-thing. John, you are such a huckster, you have tricked me into a dead end. Yeah, you said, "Are you here now?" Holy shit, what a con job. I let those few words filter into a stop, a space, a... Crap, I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it's not the story of me. It's like, well, it's not the same old same old.

At first, it was little gaps, which freaked me out. Your words, "whenever you can taste yourself," well, you didn't say a thing about "whenever" and how "whenever becomes all the time." Yeah, you old trickster, you knew I would begin to pick up the trail of crumbs, which the birds of the story of me would eat. Hey, don't get me wrong, in my brief time here, I've come across many swami-snatch-your-dollars, but you gave me nothing, you took nothing, and left it all. I fall in and out, but your trick keeps coming back.

You told us it would do its thing, in its own way. Yeah, you sure are right about that. After a few weeks, I began to see how insane I am, how the story of me is endless on and on, going, starting, stopping, shifting and then, the big joke hit me, it's all a very funny joke. Even now, I smile because the best standup comic is me!

Any way, at this point, everything is ok. Every once in a while, the story of me sticks its nose in my parking space and I let it stay for a bit, but it doesn't hang around for long, because the trick is doing its thing and it (the story of me) does not last long.
I could continue to write but I'd just be repeating myself over and over, ad infinitum, "you know," and I'm on my way, or is it that I'm here and have been here a long, long time... It's all so ordinary, isn't it? Damn you and your trick.

I love you and rest at your feet, my brother.

*****

Shanti, Shanti, paz.

Kissimmee, Florida   February 27, 2007

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