River Ganga Foundation
I know you are busy these days...

Dear John,

I know you are busy these days but nevertheless I have to report to you and don't expect an answer.  You are the only person for me who understands and maybe I have the opportunity to talk to you again in the next online satsang.

Last time when I spoke to you, I told you that everything is so easy and I am always drawn to my self.  Thoughts come up and in the middle they break down and vanish. Sometimes they come up and want to stop me doing something.  They go back to the past and it seems like a break.  Then in the moment like today when I was in a meeting, words just popped out of me.  The mind came later and gave his comments and felt embarrassed but I laughed at it.  Since I don't feel any more fear and anxiety, it seems that I became more bold, stand up for my co-workers and I am still rebellious.  My mind doesn't like it and wants me to calm down. 

What I wanted to report to you is that I get more and more detached from everything.  Things I always wanted, my deepest wishes got fulfilled.  But now I got them and they don't make me happy.  Great stories go under and are gone.  I don't even have the need to tell anyone.  I don't know what to talk to my parents and friends anymore.  In spirituality they say that when you are awake you feel love all the time, don't have any more opinions and so on.  This is not in my case.  I feel an inner constant peace, no more war in my head, but I don't feel constant love, more like always the same tranquility. 

I am still a rebel and still want justice and fight for it (but I also know that is there is no justice).  A lot of my concepts fall away and I question everything and everyone.  It seems that I have fun with it.  When I do self-inquiry I see the reality which is always with me.  I never change and I am always the same.

My question is: is this a process?  Does it end or goes on forever and ever? I mean, for me it seems that I don't care anymore about anything and take things like they come.  There are no more goals and achievements, but there are still preferences. Things I don't want stick to me and it seems like a challenge and I become more and more God's instrument like I always have been.

The greatest thing of all is that for the first time of my life I can be myself, no more fears, no more anxiety. 

I thank you very much for your clarification, all your work you do.  I am very much drawn to your satsangs and all your words seem to resonate.

I love you and Carla.

Say Hi to dear Carla, hugs,

Namaste, B.

Richmond, California    October 15, 2007

 

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A Meeting with John Sherman in Ojai, CA
Saturday, October 11, at 2:15 pm PT

Sacred Space Studio
410-A Bryant Circle
Ojai, CA 93023
Mindfulness Meditation
John found this simple meditation to be helpful.
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The only thing that is certain is you, but nothing can be said that is at all helpful in describing you or explaining you, or even pointing to you. You are here. The only certainty there is, is that of your presence. I am not speaking of the sense of self, although the focusing of attention on the sense of self, or the I am, or beingness, or by whatever name it may be called, will in fact result in the vanishing of the sensational experience that is the sense of self. In the moment of its vanishing, what remains is you. That's the incredible value and utility of Ramana's suggestion that we look at ego and grab it by the throat. In so doing, that experience vanishes and what remains is you. You, face to face with you.
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Our work is to teach the method of the vichara (self-inquiry) to all who will receive it.

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