At the age of 50 something, after a lifetime of spiritual seeking...

[Administrator]

At the age of 50 something, after a lifetime of spiritual seeking, I have noticed that what has made the most difference in my life is having enough money. When I do not have enough money to pay my bills, the fear is enormous. When I'm doing okay financially, the fear is lifted. How does this relate to the "fear of life?" I used to reject Maslow's hierarchy of needs -- now I wonder if he is correct after all. I am not talking about chasing after more and more material goods, which clearly does not bring ease and sanity. I'm talking about having enough money to pay rent and food and electric. Can a person with extreme money problems lose the fear of life?

[lerajane]

You asked: Can a person with extreme money problems lose the fear of life?

The fear of life is at the root of all fears, except immediate visceral-type fears like someone pointing a gun in your face. We can spend our lives trying to assuage the existential fears by accumulating money, being good enough, etc., but these efforts are just bandages and they never satisfy.

Years ago, I was in a panic at the threat of losing my livelihood so I understand what you are saying. Now, I am retired, living on a stable budget so I have not been tested in that fear since starting the looking. I can report my existential fears in other areas, like public speaking, have diminished tremendously. The fear was seen to be a house of cards that fell with the recovery. One wonderful thing for our sakes, is that nothing, even panic, can prevent us from turning our attention inward to look at ourselves. This simple act, that rids us of the fear of life, is not dependent on the conditions within our lives. It does seem to take time for the recovery to take place and be noticed, though. The amount of time seems to vary with the individual. During my recovery, my life goes on presenting me with all kinds of experiences, both good and bad. I live these experiences but they are not me. I am closer to my life now than ever before, yet nothing in my life sticks like glue and defines me! What a wonder.

I don’t know for sure what full recovery would look like in the financial realm. Perhaps someone else who has had money problems since losing the fear of life can respond to your question more directly. Thanks for the question. Lera Jane

[trimpi]

Insecurity about finances isn't a whole lot different than insecurity about war, your appearance, speaking in public, etc. We all have some neurotic tendency or other that will be cropping up every now and then in our experience of life. I wouldn't count on the looking to entirely disappear any tendency, but what I would count on it for doing -- 100% -- is to lessen or eliminate the drive to do something about it. You know what I mean. That drive to improve so you don't have the discomfort of sweating paying the electric bill. With the working of the looking, it's no longer do or die if you are afflicted by one of those bugaboos. Equanimity seems to replace the turmoil, although even that may be going too far, because the looking isn't about prettying up your state of mind so that you are always free of disturbing happenings. You will be available to meet those disturbances much more fully if you are not totally at risk and at the mercy of your own performance in dealing with them. The fear of life causes you to contract when confronted by the exigencies of life; not so with its elimination. You are open to anything. Nothing is too much to handle. Come and live with me if things get too tough. Which is to say that you will always be cared for. But don't let that comforting thought keep you from the practice. It's way more fun and satisfying to champion your life than have your life champion you. Trimpi

[GailH]

Yah I get ya about the money fears. I agree with Trimpi, it's just one of the many neurotic fears, but it's a big one. To me, that one and health issues create quite a thick 'cloud'; consuming energy,'fix-it' ness, fear and misery.
I'm in my late forties and have been self employed for most of my life. I've gotten so familiar with money coming and going and then NOT coming and STILL going! This is where credit cards have paid my bills, which can then create an extra fear stream.
On the other hand, (I find I have quite a dualistic attitude towards things); I have enjoyed having the credit and freedom, to go with the flow and not try to be so BUSY with work. A teacher I had once said 'the only cost to credit is interest'. I liked that. Sometimes though, when a longer time would go by without enough income to cover bills, I would be holding my head in my hands feeling doomed.
THe other conundrum I have is that I am an artist and have been mostly on jobsites, scaffolding etc and have felt via aging that I would like to start moving towards creating more 'paintings' which I have started doing......Then, recently discovered that I cant even stand the thought of trying to sell another human another thing.
Now what???.....I'm asking 'me'.

[trimpi]

I hear you, Gail. It's the "fix-it ness" and suffering you can do something about. As to what you'll end up doing, you'll make the best decision for yourself you can, even if it turns out to be not so hot (like robbing a bank). I'd trust in the process since that's the best game in town. But fixing yourself and suffering and misery, that's a different story. That's about resistance brought about by conditioning (do this, do that, be this, be that, don't do that, do this, don't be like her, be like her, get it right, don't get it wrong, think this, not that, etc.). With all that going on, it's no wonder we don't relish our own existence. Maybe if you do nothing else you could pay attention to the things you see, feel, taste, etc. around you. Let the looking do it's magic on the conditioning or whatever else is behind the drive to fix yourself. The suffering (resistance) will go pretty rapidly if it already hasn't pretty much gone, although there will be ghost trails. Trimpi

[David Parrish]

What I have noticed about money is that it really doesn't take much to handle the basics of food, shelter, etc., what we have been conditioned to want and consider necessary is much more. The context for the experience of life that I have experienced after the looking is one in which the ordinary little things around me are so wonderful and fulfilling that what money can buy is much less important. Also I have noticed that my ability to organize my financial reality and address the needs involved has been increasing as the process has moved forward following looking. Don't let the thoughts, feelings, etc. that come up distract you from the emerging experience of life that will fulfill what John says "The end is certain", "Everything will work out in the end." David

[GailH]

I hear you, Gail. It's the "fix-it ness" and suffering you can do something about. As to what you'll end up doing, you'll make the best decision for yourself you can, even if it turns out to be not so hot (like robbing a bank).

LOL...maybe I'll be seeking some other type of advice from John hehehehe!

[GailH]

Hi all, your words are comforting for sure......I'm all for simplifying things too. What about all that 'future planning' that we are all supposed to do...like retirement and all that..... David, is this in the 'distraction' catagory or 'organize financial reality' catagory?
(seems like a dumb question....but I do get dummied down when it comes to finances!)
Gail

[trimpi]

David, I agree with you 100%. Additionally, I would make this observation: instead of the things money can buy being less important, how about everything, including the things money can buy and every thought and feeling and all else gaining in importance. With everything being equally important, nothing is more important than the next. The significance of importance falls down the hole more easily with this way of observing it, I think, although we both end up at the same place. Which is to find everything arising in life exciting and an adventure, including the loss or accumulation of wealth. trimpi

[raindog49]

Yes, no doubt losing your entire savings is an incredible life adventure and something I look forward to with enthusiasm...
I find the rationalizations for somehow finding life's misfortunes a "wonderful" thing is entirely appalling. And that's all these statements are, rationalizations, no more no less.
You may look upon such events, losing a job, divorce, losing a loved one etc. with some equanimity, you may even find them amusing if the Looking is doing its job. I have no idea about that as I have not as yet reached the exalted levels of understanding others have.
However unless you are actually one of the people for whom this is actually true I suggest keeping these silly comments about "excitement and adventure"
as more part of your own private reflections. "Everything arising in life exciting and an adventure.." Gimme a break...
Let's get real here, ok?