Direct Question

[GailH]

"fear of life being snuffed out" is John's report of what happened to him as a result of the looking. there is no need to elevate this statement into an ideal state that must be desired for oneself.

V.

anyway this: "How to rid yourself once and for all of the fear of life that spoils life and find satisfaction using a simple act of inward looking" and other similar statements are in many areas of the organizations information. Plus, I think it works well to draw people in.....it certainly does market an 'ideal state' though.

What you said about; asking how it is for others, seeking somewhere else to see how my life should be; causing my suffering makes total sense to me. My only response to that is how 'needy' I feel about it all. Also, untrusting. After all, John is making a statement/claim similar to what others have made throughout the centuries (living without fear etc., natural state) that have been ineffective and so why would this be any different. I've been drawn to other things before with the big AHA. So I'm not too excited about it; but then again" it can't hurt".

That's what prompted my 'direct question'. Has this actually worked for anyone else? or just 'sort of'....John has said 'the fear of life is gone'. I do want that for myself.

I really appreciate your input and about focusing more on "me" "here". That 'seeker survivor' in me feels still 'at large' and who seems to be even reading through the forums!!!!! lol

Thank you,
Gail

[Carla Sherman]

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[Directcontact]

Hello dear Carla,

I just wanted to let you know in this format, in case it was true for anyone else as well, that I have had my settings marked just the way you suggested, but I'm not getting email notices.

Maybe we can fix it?

Thank you!
Dawn

[Jenny]

now if I start talking about the consequence of the looking: to ask someone else, to seek somewhere else to have an idea of what YOUR life should be like - is itself the main suffering. at least it was for me. this constant need to validate my life experience, my experience of being me. the best thing that will happen to you and this is in my case, is that you will feel less and less like asking a third person (even John) about what you feel like or what will happen next or is this the right way to feel about yourself, because you are always here, and you can "ask" that feeling directly to know first hand. the rest is all poetry, and has no resemblance to the poetry written by third persons. because ultimately others' poetry cannot be your experience.

Dear V and all,
This is so well-spoken, especially the part about other's poetry not being my experience. The truth of this has been coming home to me again and again. The experience of the gurus, teachers and poets is THEIR experience, not mine. Everyone's experience is their own, and they are entitled to it. I like this saying attributed to the Dalai Lama: "People take different roads to fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." Not to get into philosophical digressions, but what if Life itself is exploring ALL roads, all digressions, all possibilities, all potentialities, no matter how awful or wrong those turns in the road may seem to us? It must be, since whatever is, is just the case (ever heard of fractals?). Ultimately, the point is that I am here and now, with each turn of the road. And that is the truth for each I that is experiencing life. I just am, for every I.

This has been a wondrous discussion we've been having!
In gratitude,
Jenny

[rvrags]

That's what prompted my 'direct question'. Has this actually worked for anyone else? or just 'sort of'....John has said 'the fear of life is gone'. I do want that for myself.

I really appreciate your input and about focusing more on "me" "here". That 'seeker survivor' in me feels still 'at large' and who seems to be even reading through the forums!!!!! lol

Thank you,
Gail

dear gail, and all,


i really empathise. i really get what you say. the words you speak could have so easily come form inside me.

in fact, the thing that attracted me most to John is his repeated insistence on self-reliance.

i feel like writing now. somewhere in the future i promise to hold my peace :-)

here is some food for thought (some more food for the valiant 'seeker survivors' at large inside all of us :-) )

fear of life = fear of MY OWN life (not LIFE as a philosophical concept, but just your plain everyday alive life)
fear of my OWN life = that my life is not OK, so I am not OK
so, fear of MY OWN life = run away from it by seeking external validation on how I should feel like to me, or improve it, or transcend it etc etc
so, fear = create images of what I should be like, or am like, by comparing to others
looking = repeated first hand validation that im ok, that im here really, and that i dont need all these ideas, these images
next step: looking = repeated first hand validation that even when i have these ideas, these images, im still OK, because im here despite it all
leads to not seeking external validation = no fear of my OWN life
therefore, not seeking external validation = no self generated fear = snuffing out of fear

right? so from this view, you can argue that actually it works or sort of works. but i'll never know if it is exactly what John offers, because it doesnt matter anymore. i know what I can do to help myself. it has nothing to do with how John describes his experience or the end result he so poetically describes, but everything to do with looking at you, because ultimately what matters is you.

because the difference here compared to past "teachings" (whatever that means) and so on is the emphasis on the actual action that can be taken, by each one, on his or her own. no understanding, no theory, no dependence. thats beautiful.

lets apply the same understanding to the 'seeker survivor": 'seeker survivor' comes and goes. you are here, you are you whether 'seeker survivor' is at large or not. so always available.

but i now think or maybe have a feeling, a theory even, that the desire to get rid of fear, to emulate someone's presumed fearless state is THE engine that actually gives you energy to look. in my case, to look desperately, like it was the next fix. this engine might be driving you with ulterior motives, greedily biased towards an end result, but it seems like it contributes to its being done with it all.

im surprised and happy at this super organic thread that has a mind of its own :-) we have created a "direct question" frankenstein.

this is good stuff. especially, thank you gail for such honesty, that enticed so many words out of my usually reticent self.

good luck everyone.

v.

[lerajane]

Dawn wrote: who wrote about Reiki...and when I read that I felt confused again. I've been a Reiki practitioner, along with many other types of healing methods for many years, and since I started the looking, I have stopped all of these. ... My belief in these kinds of things used to be so strong, I believed I could change a person's reality along with my own, (and I believed that I often did) but it took a lot of energy and concentration and somehow now, I see that it felt as if I was stomping around my life putting out fires everywhere. Now I feel as if I don't have to try so hard to change what is. I feel as if none of it really matters so much, as if we are not so much at stake. No matter what I am experiencing, it is just experience, it does not really have so much importance, so much "do or die" effect on me.

Dear Dawn,
As you said, it is just experience. You are correct. Wanting to change another's reality is just the same as wanting to change your own and it comes from the fear of life. However, if you choose, you can still do Reiki after the fear is gone. It is simple, you just do it without the mind, as if in meditation. You put your hands on or over someone and give energy as a flower gives color and fragrance. The flower doesn't say, You need my fragrance. The flower doesn't say, I can heal you. Giving and teaching Reiki is one of the things I do. I also watch a lot of movies. I don't value one over the other. Just saying... Lera Jane

[Jenny]

dear gail, and all,
fear of life = fear of MY OWN life (not LIFE as a philosophical concept, but just your plain everyday alive life)
fear of my OWN life = that my life is not OK, so I am not OK
so, fear of MY OWN life = run away from it by seeking external validation on how I should feel like to me, or improve it, or transcend it etc etc
so, fear = create images of what I should be like, or am like, by comparing to others
looking = repeated first hand validation that im ok, that im here really, and that i dont need all these ideas, these images
next step: looking = repeated first hand validation that even when i have these ideas, these images, im still OK, because im here despite it all
leads to not seeking external validation = no fear of my OWN life
therefore, not seeking external validation = no self generated fear = snuffing out of fear

Dear V and everyone,
This is so well put! All the need for external validation stems from fear of my own life!

The looking=self-validation=self-reliance=self-satisfaction=satisfaction with my own life

What a wonderful "direct-question frankenstein" of a thread!
:-D
Jenny

[Jenny]

Wanting to change another's reality is just the same as wanting to change your own and it comes from the fear of life.

The flower doesn't say, You need my fragrance. The flower doesn't say, I can heal you.

Hey Lera Jane, Beautifully put! I have no other words to express my awe with all the beauty, poetry and intelligence coming through all the words here in this forum! It's a gift we've been given to be able to see beyond the words - that must be why the looking works.
Gratitude to all,
Jenny

[GailH]

dear gail, and all,



fear of life = fear of MY OWN life (not LIFE as a philosophical concept, but just your plain everyday alive life)
fear of my OWN life = that my life is not OK, so I am not OK
so, fear of MY OWN life = run away from it by seeking external validation on how I should feel like to me, or improve it, or transcend it etc etc
so, fear = create images of what I should be like, or am like, by comparing to others
looking = repeated first hand validation that im ok, that im here really, and that i dont need all these ideas, these images
next step: looking = repeated first hand validation that even when i have these ideas, these images, im still OK, because im here despite it all
leads to not seeking external validation = no fear of my OWN life
therefore, not seeking external validation = no self generated fear = snuffing out of fear



v.

THis is a great equation! Thanks.

[Directcontact]

It is simple, you just do it without the mind, as if in meditation. You put your hands on or over someone and give energy as a flower gives color and fragrance. The flower doesn't say, You need my fragrance. The flower doesn't say, I can heal you. ~ LeraJane

Dearest LeraJane and Jenny,

Thank you so much, LeraJane, for this image, it really helps me. Your words are beautiful and I love them!

This is such a simple expression of energy itself, and now, I think to myself, it is most likely how Reiki and other forms of energy healing were always meant to be shared. Just simply -- and without the fear of life.

Sending love,
Dawn